Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
