We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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