Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This house was built for laser tag.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
