speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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