it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize