He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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