so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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