this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
