Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
