I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
