If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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