My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
