even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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