Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
