i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
nutella sex= disaster
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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