Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
