guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
