addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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