We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is wine microwaveable?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
