Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
