i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
