idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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