She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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