The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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