the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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