Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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