ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
