and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.