Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1558) Bad night (528)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  then i met college

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  (781): when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton (781): then i met college http://tfl.nu/kd7x
  Replies (17) Good night (6355) Bad night (827)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us

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  (919): CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us http://tfl.nu/dd67
  Replies (80) Good night (3534) Bad night (4687)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."

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  (508): They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever." http://tfl.nu/4fcm
  Replies (49) Good night (17921) Bad night (1871)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..

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  (304): she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously.. http://tfl.nu/exbf
  Replies (24) Good night (1502) Bad night (6687)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives

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  (703): then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives http://tfl.nu/iy6u
  Replies (8) Good night (3991) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?

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  (612): I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life? http://tfl.nu/j7qa
  Replies (6) Good night (2059) Bad night (1161)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse

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  (360): tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse http://tfl.nu/pqsg
  Replies (7) Good night (2735) Bad night (1070)
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  (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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  (916): Sadness tears and throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/ierj
  Replies (5) Good night (783) Bad night (2215)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!

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  (210): Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together! http://tfl.nu/bu70
  Replies (3) Good night (1271) Bad night (547)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".

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  (309): Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail". http://tfl.nu/i687
  Replies (9) Good night (1022) Bad night (386)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.

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  (402): Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building. http://tfl.nu/eh2u
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"

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  (502): Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch" http://tfl.nu/4pzk
  Replies (2) Good night (603) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation

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  (406): Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation http://tfl.nu/7kli
  Replies (9) Good night (927) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.

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  (304): Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill. http://tfl.nu/pwe1
  Replies (5) Good night (660) Bad night (278)

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