there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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