Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

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(570): I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet. http://tfl.nu/lza9

Replies (9) Good night (875) Bad night (1295)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now

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(970): I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now http://tfl.nu/72p0

Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (1992)
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(410): View more from Maryland

So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.

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(410): So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it. http://tfl.nu/iplm

Replies (41) Good night (3788) Bad night (1256)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.

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(608): i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross. http://tfl.nu/qmd2

Replies (19) Good night (717) Bad night (2973)
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(707): View more from California

i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.

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(707): i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either. http://tfl.nu/icf7

Replies (55) Good night (4567) Bad night (618)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

(1-416): View more from Ontario

u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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(416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica

Replies (16) Good night (1298) Bad night (3910)
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(972): View more from Texas

It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old

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(972): It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old http://tfl.nu/d8tm

Replies (24) Good night (1005) Bad night (5439)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?

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(860): He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended? http://tfl.nu/s6ms

Replies (12) Good night (1201) Bad night (3892)
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(954): View more from Florida

You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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(954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk

Replies (15) Good night (1071) Bad night (5882)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.

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(217): Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty. http://tfl.nu/eut4

Replies (9) Good night (814) Bad night (2039)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving

(706): View more from Georgia

Your blankets are not drunk friendly

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(706): Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving (706): Your blankets are not drunk friendly http://tfl.nu/10kf

Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (1173)
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(315): View more from New York

The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....

(507): View more from Minnesota

.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....

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(315): The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar..... (507): .....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls.... http://tfl.nu/yj71

Replies (5) Good night (956) Bad night (660)
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(518): View more from New York

I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.

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(518): I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk. http://tfl.nu/wd6k

Replies (3) Good night (1754) Bad night (623)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "

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(732): he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot " http://tfl.nu/4jvz

Replies (7) Good night (1112) Bad night (422)
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(281): View more from Texas

We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.

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(281): We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack. http://tfl.nu/0vhw

Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (256)

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