You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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