Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.