4 words: hood of his car
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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