I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
