i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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