im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he fucked my hip out of place.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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