im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
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We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You were trust falling into bushes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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