She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There r osticjed everywhere
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
