worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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