You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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