She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
