and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My vagina just clenched in fear
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
