Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
