wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
