I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
