Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
As shirtless as possible
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
