You were right. It hurts to walk today.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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