Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
