dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
