so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
