he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
