I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize