Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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