You made me cry and you don't even care
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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