those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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