KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
