she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
