No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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