Plan B is the new Plan A
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
