Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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