I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
