It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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