ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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