My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
