I never want to see another naked old woman again.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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