I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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