The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
