For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
PANTIES FOUND
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