i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
